Life Lessons

Here is a brief list of things that I learned today:

• You should always pay your parking tickets. If you don't, the next time you get pulled over the bench warrant for your arrest will land your sorry ass in the slammer for the duration of the weekend and cause you to miss two performances of the show you're currently in.
• I can sing well and beautifully (...most of the time) on a stage in front of two hundred people, but put me in front of a karaoke mike in a room with ten tipsy folk in and I instantly become hideously and painfully tone-deaf.
• "Lesbian buttfucker" is potentially the silliest and best insult ever.

I'm sure there are other, more profound things I could have discovered today, but why go in for profundity when there's funny to be had?

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I believe.